Un-working, Un-happy, Un-healthy

So
Tuesday i woke up terribly sick. I had a raging sore dry throat and a cough that felt like it was going to eject my ovaries from their home. it hurt every where to cough. I was able to maintain my composure and go to work. If i breathed slow and steady enough, i didn't have to cough. and i had felt worse. so i went to work. we had a meeting anyways. a pay and benefits meeting and this one concerned me and my hours. I have had this 0.6 FTE [ Full time equivelincy] looming over my head for months. i had been working full time, squeaking it in. EMM was back. and the agreement was, when she got back I was down to a 0.6. It just wasn't in the budget they said.
She has been back for a month now. I was still working full time. She called the meeting. It went as expected. EMM trying to powerhouse herself back into the supervisor position. she had been gone for 8 - 9 months on compassionate leave taking care of her husband, who has since passed on. now she is back to work, back to work the monday after the funeral. I had been told by others that she was controlling, and would be making a huge attempt to regain control of the department. the department which hired me without her approval, the department that ran fine with no problems in her absense. i guess it would be hard to know that in your absense there was no problem, making it that much easier to get rid of the position you filled. I am sure she is making close to double what i do. I am sure they could spend that money elsewhere.

she says that my hours have to go from 77.50 /biweekly to 50/ biweekly. that works out to 5 hours a day, or 3/5 days a week.[ m-f]

they apologize for having this conversation in front of me. its getting kind of heated. 2 are on my side. saying i am valuable, i help emmensly and they need me. EMM is saying "she is a 0.6. make it happen." I mubble a few words of compliance, but they come out as only whispers. i feel like screaming.
why dont YOU go to a 0.6! you dont do anything! etc. but this is just all how i feel. fueled by the sickness brewing inside of me. in reality I have no idea what she does. I dont know if she is required for the office. maybe she does stuff that my little brain can't even comprehend, but then again, maybe not, I am pretty smart.

in the end, we are left to decide amoung the 3 of us what my hours will be. the other 2 are pissed at the situation. I dont feel good. its getting harder not to hack my lungs up. I tell them I will come in from 7:30 - 12:30 M-F for the first bit. yea i know its shitty, why not take a few days off. but i dont know when they need me, what days are good, what days are bad and I dont want to end up with some random tuesday/thursdays off when i can make it a friday/ monday or something. everyone agress and I leave the office. I go home to bed. its 1 pm in the afternoon. at this point i dont even care if i am getting sick pay. I felt like hell and needed to be warm, in bed and sleeping. by 5 or 6 pm, I am fully feeling this bug. my spine hurts. my ribs hurt. my lungs hurt. nothing i have ever had has come on so quickly. its been less then 12 hours. I feel like i could die. i , of course, do not die. I just suffer. through tuesday. all day. wednesday. all day. thursday. all day.
that brings us to now. friday morning. still at home. but better. not well. just better then before. I can get through a few hours without coughing. I dont have to blow my nose quite as much. my body stopped aching. I will probably eat today. this will be new. all i ate on tuesday was a small blueberry muffin. wednesday. 1/2 cup of chili thursday . a mini bran muffin. in more the 72 hours. thats all that i have eaten. Am i hungry? no not really. but i probably should be.

at this point, i am looking forward to tommorrow. I think i will be exponentially better. and the day after that even more so. i cant wait until i have my appetite back. I know its going to be sweet. bitter sweet. and i am going to eat so much i will probably make myself sick again. i can't wait until the thought of all food sounds good. even a greasy sick-ass BIG MAC. when you think one of those sounds good.. you know you are better. or piles of chewed of chicken bones, fingers covered in greasy hot sauce. Can i have some more? only a few more days. i'll be there.