you can dress me up....

so as we all know, i have been in my bed for 4 days. i have rarely left my room.

last night my brother was in town. he invited me out for dinner. food. the thought of food. i was a bit scared. but i showered and curled my hair and put loads of makeup on to cover the sunken eye sickness look and made my way to the opposite side of the city


i was doing good. the hacking was minimal, the nasal drip had pretty much stopped and i could breathe through my nose, not my mouth like a gaping chimpanzee.

I walked in. appologized for the raspy voice and ordered some water and OJ. the waitress must have been new. it took forever to get a drink. i felt the tickle creeping into my throat. a drink would calm this, where's my drink. i stare longingly at my brothers water. just a sip, i just need a sip. i felt like i had been in the desert for years. appettizers come. i still dont have a drink.
eventually they show. I am happyily chewing on a few pieces of calamari and a crumb escapes down my windpipe. this is bad news for anyone. hacking is sure to ensue. but when you have 4 days of death sitting at the back of your throat, you do NOT want a crumb to start the process. tears stream down my face and i go slightly red. i am doing all i can to discreetly cough his chunk out without unleashing the monster. the monster pokes his ugly head out. I am covering my mouth, but it doesnt help, the sound is horrible. "who let her out?" i can hear it already. the comments are going to fly. i look at the rest of the table, no one has seemed to notice yet. thank god. the waitress comes back and askes how we are doing. i rasp out that i need more water and bolt for the bathroom trying to maintain what composure i have left. i lock myself in a stall and close the lid of the toilet and sit on it. praying it will end soon, hoping i dont burst a vein in my head.
i feel a bit better, clear my thraot with a big hmm hmm and exit the stall. a few dirty looks, but hey i am sick. better in the bathroom then it was at the table. i was only hacking for god sakes. bitches.

I make my way back to the table and try to enjoy dinner.
Sweet and sour pork, with bell peppers and pinapple on a bed of jasmine coconut rice.

it comes, it looks divine. days and days of no food. i am about to be rewarded with many tastes, complimenting each other. i can't wait.

I eat slowly, enjoying the conversation that is ranging anywhere from asian pimped out cars to dreams and parades. its fun.

i feel the first gurgle of an upset stomach. i stopped eating immediatly. i haven't even gotten through a 1/4 of my meal. i look at it longingly. knowing i shouldn't go on. i secretly take some pepto bismol caplets i have stashed in my purse. knowing full well that after a week of not eating i am in for bad news, regardless of my meal choice.

Dinner is over and i make my way home. It was nice to be out of my room again. finally i get home.....

I have started to appreciate the color of the bathroom in a whole new light. I think over the next few days i am going to be spending alot of time there.

reflecting.